Chores and Living in our Home

My kids think I'm the Wicked Witch from the West today. What mother gives her kids chores to do on their vacation? I don't know about any of you, but my house seems to get messed up so much more quickly when my kids are home. I seem to go to bed each night wondering, "Was my house really clean today?" The answer is "Probably not."

Oh well, but we do get the basics done--usually--sometimes happily, sometimes unhappily (as I hear my cupboard door slamming in the kitchen). Someone is NOT happy about unloading the dishes right now.

I know there are some people that live in uber-clean houses. I am not one of them. I gave up on perfection in my house many, many years ago. If you entered my home right now you would see puzzles on the dining room table, dishes in the sink, toys and books scattered throughout the living room and toys throughout the playroom downstairs. Yes, we live in our home. It is not on display. It is our home. I hope my kids feel comfortable kicking off their shoes and reading a book.

Plus there are days when my kiddos on the spectrum have hard days, and those are the times when my house looks a little more lived in. We've had pictures thrown off the walls, holes punched in the walls, doors slammed etc. Sigh! Thank goodness those days are few and far between.

My house is a home where living and learning take place. It is not a perfect home...maybe I'll get one of those in the hereafter:).

#LivedInHome #Chores

Wisdom Teeth

Poor Jordan got all four of his wisdom teeth out yesterday. So, I spent the whole day keeping an eye on him. It is good that I did. He had some real bad nausea and vomiting (I believe it was a reaction to the medication they used to knock him out and one of the pain killers they gave him). Poor kid!

I also pulled a momma vigil last night and slept in the same room as him to ensure he took his meds at 3:20am and didn't wake up in extreme pain. What we don't do for our kids--even when they are 18 years old!

He seems to be doing much better today. (Thank goodness!)

#KeepingVigil #MamasJobNeverDone

Two Silly Brothers

Flashback Friday...two of my favorite buddies, Jordan and Jacob! They are still just this silly. My how they have grown up! Memories are gifts. Happy Holidays!

Trip to SLC

We went to Temple Square last night to hear Jordan perform with his high school choir and Nathan screamed the whole drive down to Salt Lake City. He didn't want to go! Sigh! Yes--I forgot to put it on the calendar...BIG mistake!

We were simply thankful that he calmed down once we got out of the car and started walking around. He happily sat through Jordan's concert (he had his iPad) and even walked around looking at Christmas lights with us after.

#LittleMiracles #LivingWithAutism

Keeping it Simple

I have been collecting Nativities from around the world for several years now. Usually they are the first thing I put up after Thanksgiving...but this year has been very busy. And so, here we are just 9 days before Christmas and I only have about 10 Nativities out (and Noelle put 8 of them up for me).

I've decided I am okay with simplicity this year. No, I may not have decked my house out for Christmas as much as I usually do, but that doesn't mean I am not thinking about the true reason we are celebrating this holiday season. I have enjoyed teaching Sunday School this year as we have studied the New Testament, and I truly feel that my focus has been more on Christ.

I have found myself wondering what goal I can set for the new year that will keep me close to my Savior. I am so thankful that we celebrate His birth this special time of the year and hope my focus can always be on what is most important. I think this is the greatest gift we can give to Christ at Christmas--to remember Him the rest of the year. Merry Christmas!

#RememberChrist #TheRealReasonForTheSeason

It's Snowing

"It's snowing! It's snowing!" Nathan bounded through the house yesterday morning with this exciting declaration. I know he is quoting one of our family movies from back when we lived in Arkansas, but that is ok. At least the saying fit--it was snowing.

Like other kids, he loves looking at the snow, and sledding, but he doesn't last as long as my other kids outside. I don't know if that is because he gets cold or what (he can't tell me). This much I do know, he gets excited when it snows.

#Autism #communication

Carolers

This past week, on the kid's church youth night, there was a knock at our door. The young men in Nathan's church group had come caroling. Nathan stood and listened with the rest of us during the first song, and then when they switched songs to "We Wish You a Merry Christmas" Nathan's eyes lit up and he smiled this HUGE smile. He recognized that song. After the singing, they handed Nathan a little bar of peppermint bark and said goodbye.

Nathan happily bounded into the house and began eating his peppermint bark. He would come and grab a piece of it and then go dancing around the living room. Then he came back and sang "We wish you a merry Christmas" and took another piece of peppermint bark and went bouncing around the living room again. He repeated this over and over--almost saying (if he could communicate), "Mom, the boys came and sang to me and gave me this yummy candy." He was so happy!

I am thankful for young men who took the time to come and sing to my boy with autism. It may not appear that it mattered much, but it made Nathan's night!

#WonderfulYoungMen #AutismCarolers

Hanging With Thomas the Train

This is what Nathan and I ended up doing the other night when we were home alone. He LOVES Thomas the Train--what 16-year-old with autism, doesn't? This is Thomas the Train Big Loader set that we have had for many years. It is very mesmerizing to watch--even for me.

My Anxiety

I struggle with anxiety (especially around certain times of the month). My anxiety is very mild compared to my daughter Noelle's, but it does impact me. I decided I too would try taking some of the Essential Nutrients vitamins--if nothing else, because I probably should be taking a vitamin supplement. I started out with 2 a day and simply started doing it out of habit.

After my monthly cycle that first month that I was taking the vitamins I noticed that I wasn't as anxious or irritable. I thought--wow, I must not be as stressed this month. Then it dawned on me..you are taking those new vitamins. Oh yeah! This last month (probably due to stress) I was a little more anxious, so as I was praying last night I felt l should increase my dose to 3 per day. (This is minimal compared to the 12 per day that Noelle takes).

My point is, God will guide us to find things that will help us if we are looking and praying about it. I am also thankful that there are vitamins out there that can help mom be more calm and happy all month long--because let's face it, if mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy!

#HelpingAnxiety #PowerOfPrayer #GoodVitamins

Childhood Anxiety & Depression

Our experience with childhood anxiety/depression—this is a story I’ve wanted to share for a while. It is not something I approach lightly. It is a very heavy topic to cover, but I feel like it is important to share our experience with the hope that it might help someone else.

Last winter was a very hard one for our daughter Noelle (now 11). For the year leading up to it, Noelle gradually had become a young girl with extreme anxiety that affected everything she did. There is both anxiety and depression on my side of the family, but nothing could have prepared me to watch my daughter go through it! At first I thought it was pre-teen hormones, but eventually my husband and I realized that this was more than hormones.

Noelle went from being cheerful and friendly to having an unnatural fear of bugs, germs, vomiting, and making choices (easy and hard). She went outside less and less because of her extreme fear of bugs and thus played with friends less and less. She was worried about going to school, doing homework assignments or anything new. Things that should have taken 5 minutes took 30 minutes to do because of anxiety.

Getting her out the door to school in the mornings drove me crazy! My stress level dealing with her each morning, then helping her do her homework (which she had to do perfectly due to anxiety), and then getting her to bed at night was more than I could bear. It was so hard! My husband commented, “I used to think she was our one normal child.” Nope. I guess we don’t have any of those.

So, what did we do? First, I prayed a lot! Then I went on a crash coarse to learn all I could about childhood anxiety.

In the process I found a really neat program that I purchased online that helps kids with anxiety. Two wonderfully creative and educated men with Ph.D’s in Psychology and counseling designed this program with CD’s and a notebook. They made it really fun and interesting for kids with music and children telling a story. It is called the Turn Around program. See https://www.turnaroundanxiety.com/

This really helped Noelle identify her fears and learn the steps she needed to take to overcome them. I highly recommend it!

We also worked with the Psychologist at Noelle’s school, her teacher, her pediatrician and most importantly God to help us with all of this. I prayed about every decision we made.

Another key that really helped Noelle was some good quality vitamins. As I was praying one day God reminded me that a good friend of mine in Texas had a son that struggled with childhood depression. After going on medication for this, she found some vitamins that she started him on. Working with a doctor she was able to wean him off his medication and he has been fine just taking these vitamins.

I felt this was a good route to take with Noelle. I started her on the True Hope vitamins but eventually switched her over to Hardy Nutrition vitamins because they were less expensive and worked just as well. (True Hope was founded by two men. A few years ago they went their separate ways and Hardy Nutrition was formed. They essentially make the same product—a high quality vitamin that has been proven to help people with several disorders including ADHD, Anxiety, Depression, OCD, Autism, Bipolar etc.) Both companies are so great to talk to if you have ANY questions, I highly recommend calling them and talking to their professional staff!

I started Noelle on the lowest dose and slowly increased it as we started the 2015 year. By May she was taking the full adult dose—4 in the morning, 4 at lunch and 4 in the evening. She was a different child! She was wearing bright clothes again. Her fear to go outside was greatly diminished. Her appetite had increased. She was finally playing with friends again. She was happy and making choices that just a few months before had completely paralyzed her with fear.

I was watching her joking with Jordan last week in the kitchen. She was laughing so hard and teasing him like a little sister should! It was then that I realized how far she has come in the past year. It is so great to hear her laugh! She is still on the full adult dose of vitamins, but she is happy and acting like a normal 11-year old girl should act.

I still don’t know if it was genetics that triggered her anxiety/depression or a nutritional deficiency caused by her sudden growth spurt. All I know is that she is not the same little girl I was dealing with a year ago, and I am ever so thankful to God for guiding me to know the right people to talk to and find the right things that helped her.
#ChildhoodAnxiety #ChildhoodDepression #OvercomingAnxiety #OvercomingFear#TurnAround #HardyNutrition

Christmas Stories

For years I have been collecting these little gems that sit right by my Christmas tree...Christmas stories. I have everything ranging from "The Grinch" to "Texas Night Before Christmas." Tonight I read the kids the story "An Orange for Frankie" by Patricia Polacco. It is such a sweet story...and yes, I get all teary reading these sweet Christmas stories to my kids.

I love Christmas and Christmas stories with beautifully illustrated books. I've said it before, and I'll say it again--I'm a sucker for books! What is one of your favorite Christmas stories?

#ChristmasStories #ChristmasBooks

Shopping for Nathan

Buying Christmas presents for Nathan is so hard! Of all of my kids, buying his presents is the MOST difficult. The reason for this is because he does not browse the classified mailers and circle 20 things in the Toys R Us mailer. In fact, I tried to sit down with him last night to look at the toy mailer and he kept telling me "no." Sigh! Non-verbal kiddos with autism are hard to buy for.

One year we took him to Toys R Us and he browsed the whole store and then picked out the "Polar Express" train (which happened to be $100). Yikes! I'm kind of nervous to take him back there for fear of a repeat--that he'll end up picking the most expensive thing in the store. But we did go to the store the other day and even though we were in the toy section, he didn't grab anything. Wish me luck finding him a Christmas present that he'll like. And if you have any ideas for a Christmas present for a 16-year-old that acts like he is 3, let me know.

Best New Rule

Best new rule--ever! Jacob has seemed particularly irritable since starting Junior High (I know hormones are partially to blame). When I prayed about what to do to help him, I felt impressed to limit his "electronics time" to 1 hour per day on school days. For a young man with high-functioning autism, electronics is what he craves more than anything.

So, I followed my impression and talked to him about it first. We discussed what we would fill our "spare" time doing. Amazingly we have had a chance to work on finishing several merit badges in the last few weeks. Today, when his electronics time was up, big brother Jordan happened to be home and I found them in the play room with all the little Hot Wheel cars out and a racing track! It made me smile.

Now, I know this will not be the right solution for every child out there, but my point is...if you are not sure what to do to help one of your kids, ask God what you should do. Then don't be afraid to follow through. You never know, you might be surprised at the results!

#LimitingElectronics #Autism

Decorating the Memory Tree

I love having the family decorate the Christmas tree! I don't ever have any super-fancy or coordinated tree. Mine has always been a memories tree with ornaments the kids have made over the years and others that I have bought at places we have visited like, The Alamo, Grand Canyon, Yellowstone, etc.

I remember when my kids were little that I would scour garage sales to try to find unbreakable ornaments (they weren't as popular when my kids were young), because back then the bottom half of the tree always seemed to get flung across the room by little hands. Now those little hands have gotten a little bigger and can now place the more fragile ornaments at the top of the tree. My how time flies! 'Tis the season to be jolly!

#DecoratingTheTree #MemoryTree

Pie Catastrophy

We had a wonderful Thanksgiving in Arizona with family. I helped make the pies. Memo to self: Don't make pies late at night when you are battling a migraine! Why? Well, I forgot to add sugar to the pumpkin pies. Needless to say, they didn't taste very good. I had to make a second batch of pumpkin pies the day after Thanksgiving to redeem myself. This time, I remembered to add the sugar.:)

#ThanksgivingBlunders #MakingPie

Gratitude

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! I thought this quote was appropriate. We can find things to be grateful for today if we simply look for them. Today I am most thankful for God, family, a beautiful world, eyes that see, ears that hear, mouth to eat and speak, beautiful music, and the list goes on and on. Be sure to thank God for your blessings today and always. Sometimes when we count our blessings, the hard things we are going through seem a little less overwhelming.
#Gratitude #Thanksgiving
Gratitude Quote
“No matter our circumstances, no matter our challenges or trials, there is something in each day to embrace and cherish. There is something in each day that can bring gratitude and joy if only we will see and appreciate it.”—President Dieter F. Uchtdorf

Moment of Joy

Sweet Noelle entered our local PTA Reflection Contest. She was so excited to come home the other day with some ribbons and a certificate of participation. For a girl who is a little shy, this was an exciting day! She composed a little piano piece and submitted it. We were excited and surprised she gets to progress to the district competition. Go Noelle!

#MomentOfJoy

Impromptu Football Game

I came downstairs the other day to find Jordan and Jacob playing with the plastic guys on the air hockey table and having a "football game" with them. It was so cute that I had to snap a photo. I am thankful that God sent Jordan as a brother to these two boys I have with autism. He is so sweet with them and sensitive to whatever they need. How many 18-year-old boys would take a few minutes to play with their sibling?

#FeelingBlessed #GreatBrother

Show Going On

My cute Jordan is so accident-prone. Last week while performing in his school's production of Les Miserables, he missed the last step coming off the stage and landed on his knee. He ended up missing the second half of the performance that night and hobbled through the last 3 performances after that....but the show must go on! He is still hobbling a little bit, but we're hoping it isn't anything serious. MRI is scheduled though.

We jokingly told him as he left to his last 3 performances to "Not break a leg."

Stories From The Spectrum

"NO EAT. NO EAT. NO EAT. NO EAT!" This went on for 20 minutes with Nathan yelling at the top of his lungs in the car. Justin and I took the 3 younger kids out to eat tonight....made it to the restaurant, but by that point my nerves were shot and I told Justin to just take us home. My brain couldn't even think properly with all his yelling. We couldn't change his mind or get him distracted--even with his trusty iPad.

So, we went home and I made him Beef Stroganoff (his favorite) and all was well with the world again. Yes, just a glimpse into our world. You never know what will set them off...but being spontaneous is definitely one of those things. Sometimes I feel like a spontaneous person trapped in a rigid schedule because of my kiddos on the autism spectrum. Sigh! We will survive!

Mothering Moments

I never knew mothering was so difficult. There are days that are joyfully fun and there are days that are bitterly hard. But, oh, the lessons I have learned! One of the most important things I have learned is that God knows my children better than I do, and that He can help me know how to parent them if I turn to Him. I'm far from perfect, but I do love my kids perfectly. I needed this quote today and thought I'd share it.

Mothering quote by Jeffrey R. Holland

"To all mothers in every circumstance, including those who struggle—and all will—I say, 'Be peaceful. Believe in God and yourself. You are doing better than you think you are.'" —Elder Jeffrey R. Holland

Why Bad Things Happen to Good People

Why do bad things happen to good people? That was our discussion with our kids Sunday evening. It is a question I think we have all asked in light of recent events. Here are some conclusions that we discussed:
1. God values our agency enough to let people choose do bad things (Joshua 24:15), but he will also hold them accountable for that choice (Romans 14:12).
2. At the judgement day, all will be made right and fair (Revelations 20:12-15).
3. God can make any hard thing we experience be for our good (Romans 8:28).
4. Jesus Christ understands and can help us bear any sorrow or hardship we experience (Isaiah 53:4-6).

At times like these when I watch the lines between good and evil become more pronounced, I really find myself hoping and praying that the Second Coming of Christ will come sooner vs later. God bless and comfort the people of Paris, and the refugees from Syria.
‪#‎BadThingsHappenToGoodPeople‬ ‪#‎ChristStrengthensUs‬

Mom's Priorities....Last on the List

For some reason when I am dealing with my kids I've noticed that all their priorities quickly move to the top of my list and take over my day (usually it is "Mom...this is due today"). Then I wonder why in the world it takes 6 months to get some of my priorities done. So, today (before anything else crops up) I am working on doing some of my priority things. I made my list last night while I was praying (God helps me so I don't forget things).

Wish me luck (and the ability to keep my focus long enough to get some stuff done).

Music and the Spoken Word

Last Sunday I took Jordan, Jacob and Noelle to hear "Music and the Spoken Word." This broadcast is put on every Sunday morning by the Mormon Tabernacle Choir and the Orchestra at Temple Square. What a phenomenal treat! It is free too!

Last Sunday was their Veteran's Day concert and it was just wonderful. They even brought the bell choir out for a couple of songs. Jordan plays the bells at his high school and especially enjoyed that part of the concert. I could seriously go to this concert every week and just be thrilled. I am glad that I can instill in my kiddos a love of the fine arts!

The IEP

I'm currently laying on my bed reading through Nathan's IEP in preparation for our annual meeting tomorrow. For those of you who don't know, and IEP is an Individualized Education Plan. This is a document that lays out measurable goals for students that have some kind of disability. It can also "modify" the education they receive at school. It is quite a gem. Honestly though, I don't envy the poor teachers that have to go through all the legal mumbo-jumbo to put the IEP together.

As a parent, I am part of Nathan's IEP team along with his teachers, therapists and administrators. I take my responsibility to be his advocate quite seriously. I am thankful to have good people to work with to help Nathan keep progressing.

Thank You Veterans

Happy Veteran's day! It is another day of gratitude towards those who have served to keep our country safe! I am thankful for the veterans in my family: my husband, my father, and my grandfather. My husband's grandfather also served. God bless you all for your service!

Saying Thank You

How can you possibly simply say "thank you" when someone just possibly saved your child's life? Somehow these two words don't quite adequately express the depth of gratitude my husband and I feel towards Tina and her associates at Walmart, the Layton PD, and Kathy from the Davis school district. They came to Nathan's aide when he was left at Walmart last week by his class.

Last night we dropped some "Thank You" notes off to two of these wonderful people. The third will be delivered today. Nathan wasn't exactly thrilled to be back at Walmart. In fact, as we pulled into the parking lot and he said, "I'm police officer Dave." (Quoting a movie). "Yes," I told him, "this is where you met the police officer, isn't it?" He is able to communicate in his simple way. There was a tearful reunion with Tina and some hugs and gratitude expressed.

I would be remiss if I didn't mention God at this point. I am thankful he put these wonderful earthly angels in Nathan's path. Together they had the skills necessary to ensure he was safe and that he was eventually able to communicate who he was (on paper). After seeing how agitated he was at Walmart last night I am also sure of one other thing: Nathan had some heavenly angels there to help calm him as well through that 2 1/2 hour ordeal. He never sits still for that long, that peacefully, especially without entertainment of some kind. But, that is what he did.

Calendar Boy

This is my cute Nathan every month when it is time to change the calendar. He is very dependent on our calendar, because like most kiddos on the autism spectrum, he likes a visual schedule. He likes to know when something different is going to happen. As long as I write it on the calendar, he is usually okay with it (unless it is something he doesn't want to do).

So, lucky me! I don't ever have to turn the page on my calendar because every first day of the month my little buddy does it for me.

#CalendarDependent #AutismScheduler

Nathan on the News

One more news story from Fox about Nathan being left at a Walmart after a school outing. I have woken up the last few mornings just re-thinking the whole thing, wondering HOW this could have happened and feeling an overwhelming sense of gratitude that Nathan was watched over by earthly and heavenly angels.

http://fox13now.com/2015/11/05/school-district-apologizes-after-teen-with-autism-left-at-wal-mart-during-field-trip/

Lost and Found

Today was a very scary day for my husband and I. It was also a day of miracles. We got a phone call from the Layton Police department about noon saying that they had our 16-year-old autistic son, Nathan, over at Walmart and that he had been left there by his school. We were shocked!!! His Special Ed class had taken a class outing to Walmart and had left without him because he had wandered off just as they were leaving. I must thank Walmart at this point. A couple of their associates found Nathan very quickly and took him to their security folks. They called the police and together, they were able to quickly watch their security camera footage and see that he was part of a school group and that he was left. Thank you Walmart & the Layton Police!

The challenge with Nathan is that he is pretty non-verbal when it comes to communicating. Because Nathan is autistic he will only echo back if you ask him a question. They couldn’t get anything out of him so they called a lady from the school district to come over and help. She was familiar with non-verbal folks and asked him to write down his name and his parents names, which he did. Unfortunately he kept giving them our phone number and address in Arkansas. (Sigh! This is something we have worked on since we have moved here to Utah, but obviously something we need to work on some more). Eventually they got his full name and were able to contact us directly. We drove over there really fast, got Nathan (we about cried when we saw him), talked to the folks there, and then brought him home for the day.

It has been a very emotional day for us as parents of a child with autism. We can't tell you how thankful we are for the people who kept him safe and for God and angels (seen and unseen) that kept Nathan calm for 2 hours until we were located--this is a major miracle! We also can't begin to tell you how frustrated we are that this happened to begin with—yes, we’re pretty mad at his teachers for not only leaving him but then for not even noticing that he was missing.

We have already met with the school administrators and teachers and are asking for better processes and execution in keeping track of ALL their Special Ed students on outings. We want to ensure this won’t happen again to any student in our district, state, or nation. It could have been disastrous! We again want to thank God, Walmart, and the Layton Police for their heroic efforts in keeping our Nathan safe and calm.

Perhaps it's no small coincidence that one of Nathan's favorite books is, "The Berenstain Bears and The Spooky Old Tree." He reads this book just about every day. The last page of the book reads, "Home again. Safe at last." That is how we feel tonight. We are thankful he is, "Home again" and that he is "Safe at last" after a crazy day.

Darn Daylight Savings

Dang you daylight savings! I keep waking up at 4:00 or 5:00 all week...and I wonder why I am so tired. Sigh! I think we should all be like Arizona and not change our clocks at all. This is ridiculous! Does anyone else agree?

Babysitter for Autistic Kiddos

I have taught her well...on Saturday, Noelle watched Nathan while Justin, Jordan and I went to a church meeting for 2 hours. Nathan was busily engaged in doing a 500 piece puzzle when we left, and when he was done, Noelle wrote him this little note.

I am thankful that she has watched and learned how we communicate with Nathan and was quite capable of helping him get his lunch. Although she is only 11, with two brothers on the autism spectrum, she has learned a lot about how to help these kiddos.