Chores and Living in our Home

My kids think I'm the Wicked Witch from the West today. What mother gives her kids chores to do on their vacation? I don't know about any of you, but my house seems to get messed up so much more quickly when my kids are home. I seem to go to bed each night wondering, "Was my house really clean today?" The answer is "Probably not."

Oh well, but we do get the basics done--usually--sometimes happily, sometimes unhappily (as I hear my cupboard door slamming in the kitchen). Someone is NOT happy about unloading the dishes right now.

I know there are some people that live in uber-clean houses. I am not one of them. I gave up on perfection in my house many, many years ago. If you entered my home right now you would see puzzles on the dining room table, dishes in the sink, toys and books scattered throughout the living room and toys throughout the playroom downstairs. Yes, we live in our home. It is not on display. It is our home. I hope my kids feel comfortable kicking off their shoes and reading a book.

Plus there are days when my kiddos on the spectrum have hard days, and those are the times when my house looks a little more lived in. We've had pictures thrown off the walls, holes punched in the walls, doors slammed etc. Sigh! Thank goodness those days are few and far between.

My house is a home where living and learning take place. It is not a perfect home...maybe I'll get one of those in the hereafter:).

#LivedInHome #Chores

Wisdom Teeth

Poor Jordan got all four of his wisdom teeth out yesterday. So, I spent the whole day keeping an eye on him. It is good that I did. He had some real bad nausea and vomiting (I believe it was a reaction to the medication they used to knock him out and one of the pain killers they gave him). Poor kid!

I also pulled a momma vigil last night and slept in the same room as him to ensure he took his meds at 3:20am and didn't wake up in extreme pain. What we don't do for our kids--even when they are 18 years old!

He seems to be doing much better today. (Thank goodness!)

#KeepingVigil #MamasJobNeverDone

Two Silly Brothers

Flashback Friday...two of my favorite buddies, Jordan and Jacob! They are still just this silly. My how they have grown up! Memories are gifts. Happy Holidays!

Trip to SLC

We went to Temple Square last night to hear Jordan perform with his high school choir and Nathan screamed the whole drive down to Salt Lake City. He didn't want to go! Sigh! Yes--I forgot to put it on the calendar...BIG mistake!

We were simply thankful that he calmed down once we got out of the car and started walking around. He happily sat through Jordan's concert (he had his iPad) and even walked around looking at Christmas lights with us after.

#LittleMiracles #LivingWithAutism

Keeping it Simple

I have been collecting Nativities from around the world for several years now. Usually they are the first thing I put up after Thanksgiving...but this year has been very busy. And so, here we are just 9 days before Christmas and I only have about 10 Nativities out (and Noelle put 8 of them up for me).

I've decided I am okay with simplicity this year. No, I may not have decked my house out for Christmas as much as I usually do, but that doesn't mean I am not thinking about the true reason we are celebrating this holiday season. I have enjoyed teaching Sunday School this year as we have studied the New Testament, and I truly feel that my focus has been more on Christ.

I have found myself wondering what goal I can set for the new year that will keep me close to my Savior. I am so thankful that we celebrate His birth this special time of the year and hope my focus can always be on what is most important. I think this is the greatest gift we can give to Christ at Christmas--to remember Him the rest of the year. Merry Christmas!

#RememberChrist #TheRealReasonForTheSeason

It's Snowing

"It's snowing! It's snowing!" Nathan bounded through the house yesterday morning with this exciting declaration. I know he is quoting one of our family movies from back when we lived in Arkansas, but that is ok. At least the saying fit--it was snowing.

Like other kids, he loves looking at the snow, and sledding, but he doesn't last as long as my other kids outside. I don't know if that is because he gets cold or what (he can't tell me). This much I do know, he gets excited when it snows.

#Autism #communication

Carolers

This past week, on the kid's church youth night, there was a knock at our door. The young men in Nathan's church group had come caroling. Nathan stood and listened with the rest of us during the first song, and then when they switched songs to "We Wish You a Merry Christmas" Nathan's eyes lit up and he smiled this HUGE smile. He recognized that song. After the singing, they handed Nathan a little bar of peppermint bark and said goodbye.

Nathan happily bounded into the house and began eating his peppermint bark. He would come and grab a piece of it and then go dancing around the living room. Then he came back and sang "We wish you a merry Christmas" and took another piece of peppermint bark and went bouncing around the living room again. He repeated this over and over--almost saying (if he could communicate), "Mom, the boys came and sang to me and gave me this yummy candy." He was so happy!

I am thankful for young men who took the time to come and sing to my boy with autism. It may not appear that it mattered much, but it made Nathan's night!

#WonderfulYoungMen #AutismCarolers

Hanging With Thomas the Train

This is what Nathan and I ended up doing the other night when we were home alone. He LOVES Thomas the Train--what 16-year-old with autism, doesn't? This is Thomas the Train Big Loader set that we have had for many years. It is very mesmerizing to watch--even for me.

My Anxiety

I struggle with anxiety (especially around certain times of the month). My anxiety is very mild compared to my daughter Noelle's, but it does impact me. I decided I too would try taking some of the Essential Nutrients vitamins--if nothing else, because I probably should be taking a vitamin supplement. I started out with 2 a day and simply started doing it out of habit.

After my monthly cycle that first month that I was taking the vitamins I noticed that I wasn't as anxious or irritable. I thought--wow, I must not be as stressed this month. Then it dawned on me..you are taking those new vitamins. Oh yeah! This last month (probably due to stress) I was a little more anxious, so as I was praying last night I felt l should increase my dose to 3 per day. (This is minimal compared to the 12 per day that Noelle takes).

My point is, God will guide us to find things that will help us if we are looking and praying about it. I am also thankful that there are vitamins out there that can help mom be more calm and happy all month long--because let's face it, if mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy!

#HelpingAnxiety #PowerOfPrayer #GoodVitamins

Childhood Anxiety & Depression

Our experience with childhood anxiety/depression—this is a story I’ve wanted to share for a while. It is not something I approach lightly. It is a very heavy topic to cover, but I feel like it is important to share our experience with the hope that it might help someone else.

Last winter was a very hard one for our daughter Noelle (now 11). For the year leading up to it, Noelle gradually had become a young girl with extreme anxiety that affected everything she did. There is both anxiety and depression on my side of the family, but nothing could have prepared me to watch my daughter go through it! At first I thought it was pre-teen hormones, but eventually my husband and I realized that this was more than hormones.

Noelle went from being cheerful and friendly to having an unnatural fear of bugs, germs, vomiting, and making choices (easy and hard). She went outside less and less because of her extreme fear of bugs and thus played with friends less and less. She was worried about going to school, doing homework assignments or anything new. Things that should have taken 5 minutes took 30 minutes to do because of anxiety.

Getting her out the door to school in the mornings drove me crazy! My stress level dealing with her each morning, then helping her do her homework (which she had to do perfectly due to anxiety), and then getting her to bed at night was more than I could bear. It was so hard! My husband commented, “I used to think she was our one normal child.” Nope. I guess we don’t have any of those.

So, what did we do? First, I prayed a lot! Then I went on a crash coarse to learn all I could about childhood anxiety.

In the process I found a really neat program that I purchased online that helps kids with anxiety. Two wonderfully creative and educated men with Ph.D’s in Psychology and counseling designed this program with CD’s and a notebook. They made it really fun and interesting for kids with music and children telling a story. It is called the Turn Around program. See https://www.turnaroundanxiety.com/

This really helped Noelle identify her fears and learn the steps she needed to take to overcome them. I highly recommend it!

We also worked with the Psychologist at Noelle’s school, her teacher, her pediatrician and most importantly God to help us with all of this. I prayed about every decision we made.

Another key that really helped Noelle was some good quality vitamins. As I was praying one day God reminded me that a good friend of mine in Texas had a son that struggled with childhood depression. After going on medication for this, she found some vitamins that she started him on. Working with a doctor she was able to wean him off his medication and he has been fine just taking these vitamins.

I felt this was a good route to take with Noelle. I started her on the True Hope vitamins but eventually switched her over to Hardy Nutrition vitamins because they were less expensive and worked just as well. (True Hope was founded by two men. A few years ago they went their separate ways and Hardy Nutrition was formed. They essentially make the same product—a high quality vitamin that has been proven to help people with several disorders including ADHD, Anxiety, Depression, OCD, Autism, Bipolar etc.) Both companies are so great to talk to if you have ANY questions, I highly recommend calling them and talking to their professional staff!

I started Noelle on the lowest dose and slowly increased it as we started the 2015 year. By May she was taking the full adult dose—4 in the morning, 4 at lunch and 4 in the evening. She was a different child! She was wearing bright clothes again. Her fear to go outside was greatly diminished. Her appetite had increased. She was finally playing with friends again. She was happy and making choices that just a few months before had completely paralyzed her with fear.

I was watching her joking with Jordan last week in the kitchen. She was laughing so hard and teasing him like a little sister should! It was then that I realized how far she has come in the past year. It is so great to hear her laugh! She is still on the full adult dose of vitamins, but she is happy and acting like a normal 11-year old girl should act.

I still don’t know if it was genetics that triggered her anxiety/depression or a nutritional deficiency caused by her sudden growth spurt. All I know is that she is not the same little girl I was dealing with a year ago, and I am ever so thankful to God for guiding me to know the right people to talk to and find the right things that helped her.
#ChildhoodAnxiety #ChildhoodDepression #OvercomingAnxiety #OvercomingFear#TurnAround #HardyNutrition

Christmas Stories

For years I have been collecting these little gems that sit right by my Christmas tree...Christmas stories. I have everything ranging from "The Grinch" to "Texas Night Before Christmas." Tonight I read the kids the story "An Orange for Frankie" by Patricia Polacco. It is such a sweet story...and yes, I get all teary reading these sweet Christmas stories to my kids.

I love Christmas and Christmas stories with beautifully illustrated books. I've said it before, and I'll say it again--I'm a sucker for books! What is one of your favorite Christmas stories?

#ChristmasStories #ChristmasBooks

Shopping for Nathan

Buying Christmas presents for Nathan is so hard! Of all of my kids, buying his presents is the MOST difficult. The reason for this is because he does not browse the classified mailers and circle 20 things in the Toys R Us mailer. In fact, I tried to sit down with him last night to look at the toy mailer and he kept telling me "no." Sigh! Non-verbal kiddos with autism are hard to buy for.

One year we took him to Toys R Us and he browsed the whole store and then picked out the "Polar Express" train (which happened to be $100). Yikes! I'm kind of nervous to take him back there for fear of a repeat--that he'll end up picking the most expensive thing in the store. But we did go to the store the other day and even though we were in the toy section, he didn't grab anything. Wish me luck finding him a Christmas present that he'll like. And if you have any ideas for a Christmas present for a 16-year-old that acts like he is 3, let me know.

Best New Rule

Best new rule--ever! Jacob has seemed particularly irritable since starting Junior High (I know hormones are partially to blame). When I prayed about what to do to help him, I felt impressed to limit his "electronics time" to 1 hour per day on school days. For a young man with high-functioning autism, electronics is what he craves more than anything.

So, I followed my impression and talked to him about it first. We discussed what we would fill our "spare" time doing. Amazingly we have had a chance to work on finishing several merit badges in the last few weeks. Today, when his electronics time was up, big brother Jordan happened to be home and I found them in the play room with all the little Hot Wheel cars out and a racing track! It made me smile.

Now, I know this will not be the right solution for every child out there, but my point is...if you are not sure what to do to help one of your kids, ask God what you should do. Then don't be afraid to follow through. You never know, you might be surprised at the results!

#LimitingElectronics #Autism