Autism and Going to Church

There is never a dull moment at church with a child with autism! Our cute Nathan sang out in full voice Sunday during our Sacrament Meeting, "Goodnight! Don't let the frost-bite bite." Yup--and it was loud enough that even the people in the back heard him. We got several smiles from fellow-worshipers. Hey! We are entertaining to sit by, what can I say?

Taking my children to church hasn't always been easy though. I remember vividly trying to keep Jacob from escaping our row--my husband and I had to have lightening reflexes to keep him with us. We came to church prepared with a bag full of toys, snacks, and almost everything but the kitchen sink...but we came each and every Sunday. There were times I cried because it was so hard. I can remember like it was yesterday having an older man in our church congregation come up to me after church and simply asking, "Sister Anderson, how are you?" I burst out crying. Yup, it was that hard! It was like a football game each and every Sunday--I had to suit up and prepare myself mentally and physically to go to church.

I know families with kids on the autism spectrum that have given up on church. There were times I felt like giving up, but then I would ask myself, "What pattern are you trying to establish for your kids and for yourself?" I knew that if I stuck with it that they would eventually learn. I clung to that hope that it would someday get easier and better--and I wanted my kids to come to know God and feel Him near them, even my kiddos on the spectrum. And ever so subtly it did get easier--week by week, month by month and year by year. I'm glad I didn't give up because I'm sure that teaching a 16-year-old and 13-year-old child with autism to go to church now would be much harder than it was when they were younger. You can carry a tantruming 3 yr old out much more easily than a tantruming 16 yr old. Although we made it much more miserable for them "outside" the worship service than in or they would have tantrumed just to be taken out--we just would sit in an empty classroom with them on our lap until they calmed down. Tough love and tough parenting....but it worked for us.

I am also thankful I had lots of help from other people in our several congregations helping me and teaching my kids simple lessons in their Sunday School classes. They called/asked special teachers to sit with my boys and they had special "bags" full of fidget toys and all sorts of entertainment that helped them "go to class." Every one of their "teachers" gained such a love for my boys--and I am thankful that I got to share them with others.

All in all, I'd do it again--those younger years with all my tears and persistence. My hope paid off. My two boys now sit fairly quietly with their typical siblings (except for the occasional singing outburst from Nathan). So, if you need to smile at church, come sit by us. You never know what Nathan will sing for you.