Older Brothers Are the Best!

Older brothers are the best! This past week I asked Jordan (17) to take Nathan downstairs because the crying of a younger sibling was driving him crazy. Jordan took Nathan downstairs and expertly entertained him while I took care of my other upset child. When I went to check on them, this is what I found:

Another Chore Chart Idea

This is a cardboard/foam chore chart that I used one or two summers. It is the same principle as yesterday's chore chart, but implemented a little differently. On this one you basically print the chores on slips of paper and place them in the "Do" pocket at night when the kids are asleep. In the morning the kids happily skip to the chore chart, sing while they do their chore, and then move their chore paper (once completed) into the "Done" pocket. (Ha ha ha--don't you wish it was that easy to get kids to do their chores?)

I typed up and printed the chores on cardstock so that they would last a little longer. Be sure if you use this method to have a little envelope where you keep all your extra "chore papers." Also, make blank slips where you can write in any chore that you might need done that you don't have a slip for.

We loved this little chore chart and it worked quite well mounted to a wall all through the summer. I found that I had to set a time by which they had to get their chores done to put a little sticker on their chart. They could turn their stickers in for books or trinkets that I bought at garage sales. If they drug their feet, and didn't get their chores done by 11:00am, I would give them another chore. Yup, mean mom frown emoticon.

Enjoy the idea! And may your kids happily skip and do their chores quickly with a smile on their face.

Favorite Chore Chart

This is my favorite chore list to use during the summer. It is simply a printed list of everyday chores (make bed, say prayers, get dressed, practice piano) with extra blanks at the bottom at the chore list for whatever needs to get done that day. After you have typed this up (or written it out), simply slip it into a sheet protector and clip it to a clipboard. Next use a dry erase marker (5 pack at Walmart for about $5) to write in extra chores and let the kids check it off with the same dry-erase marker.

The next day you simply wipe off yesterday's chores/checks and begin again. Voila!

Other tips: For kids that can't read you can simply print pictures off the internet of what they need to do and let them check those off. Also, I have found it beneficial to pair my children to work together on chores (esp my kiddos on the spectrum). For example, both Jacob and Noelle would be assigned to vacuum the stairs. Noelle would keep Jacob on task and they would work together--one holding the vacuum while the other uses the hose.

What do you do in the summertime?

The Big Summer Schedule

Autism, routines & schedules...the thought of scheduling all summer makes me want to cringe! Here is something I use at the beginning of every summer to help Nathan establish a schedule. Once I have the schedule established I don't have to keep the visual schedule updated each day...but the first week is crucial!

I made my visual schedule with poster-board, velcro, a printer and some lamination. First, I made a list of all possible activities Nathan or my other kids might enjoy (see photo 3). You can even brainstorm with your kids (if they are verbal) to get cool activities on there that they would enjoy. Then I printed the activities on colored paper with a small photo beside the word (photo 2), laminated them, and invested in a large quantity of velcro to put it all together. Yes, it did initially take time to make it, but I have used it for at least 5 years now.

Nathan has migrated more to my writing big events or schedule changes on our wall-mounted calendar (the regular kind)...but I can't establish a schedule on a one-inch square block per day :). That is why I use this BIG monstrosity at the beginning of the summer.

Tomorrow I'll talk more about other scheduling ideas. Feel free to share any ideas you have. I'm always open to new ideas!

Routines

I remember the day Nathan was diagnosed with autism being told that kiddos on the spectrum crave routines. I was overwhelmed by that because I was not a "routine-type" person. In fact, I love being spontaneous! What I came to understand was that I did not suddenly have to change who I was, but there was a gradual change.

Summers were the hardest with the lack of a school routine. Mind you, Nathan has gone to summer school, but it is not all day nor all summer--just a few days a week for 2-3 hours. I found summer was my hardest time to keep Nathan happy and entertain my other three children. When the kids were younger I finally had to hire a young woman from our church congregation to help me "babysit" all summer (even though I was right there at home) because I couldn't do it all by myself.

This week I thought I'd share some of the things I've done to help my kiddos on the spectrum and my typical kiddos get into a routine for the summer.

Memorial Day--Remembering Grandpa

This is my Grandpa Storrs. He fought in WWII as a bombardier. He passed away while I was in High School and I miss his happy, competitive, upbeat personality! He would always try to "cheat" when we played Uno, and he had a killer grip in "thumb war." He also had an iron stomach that he would encourage us grandkids to punch as hard as we could--which I'm sure hurt our hands much more than it ever hurt his stomach!

Happy Memorial Day everyone! I am thankful for people that have fought to keep the freedoms we enjoy!

Remembering & Gratitude

Memorial day is about remembering. Today I'd like to remember and thank all the people who have made my transition to life with kids on the autism spectrum easier. I've had many teachers, friends, family members, therapists, people at church, neighbors, and even strangers that have loved and supported me in my journey.

It hasn't always been easy, but it sure helps to have a shoulder to cry on, a friend to talk to, a teacher to learn from, and ultimately angels to help me along the way. God has ultimately guided me to answers that I couldn't find alone and given me comfort and strength when I didn't feel strong enough to go any farther.

Thank you, all of you! Your are loved, appreciated and remembered.

Noelle For President!

Noelle for President! This is a funny conversation that took place in our home this weekend between Justin (my husband) & my 2 typical kids (Noelle & Jordan).

Noelle: Maybe I will be the first woman President of the United States.
Justin: You can do anything you decide to do.
Jordan: I would vote for you!
Noelle: I would make sure everyone took Math. (She loves math).
Jordan: I'm not voting for you anymore. (Guess who doesn't like math?) :)

Who knows? Maybe she would balance the budget:).

Broken Finger :(

"Did you swear?" That was the second question my husband asked me after he found out I accidentally dropped a huge rock on my middle two fingers yesterday morning. "No, I didn't swear!" I answered as I washed the blood off my fingers in the kitchen sink.

Yes, the tip of my middle finger on my right hand is broken--darn it all! There was finally a break in the rain and I was getting some good yard work done.

Instead of focusing on the negatives of this, I am going to focus on the positives:
1. My middle finger is taped to my ring finger so I'm not "flipping the bird" to everyone I meet.
2. I don't have to have a cast on--YES!!!! This means I can still shower.
3. I am thankful for pain meds!
4. I am thankful that my kids are old enough that I'm not changing diapers with these poor fingers.
5. I can still type (sort of).
6. I have another excuse to ensure my kids do the dishes :).
7. I can still drive--I didn't break my right foot.
8. I can still conduct music and sing with my fingers taped together.
9. My kids have been super nice and helpful today (hopefully this will last for 4 weeks+).
10. My hubby was home when it happened, and was sweet enough to take me to the Dr. to get my x-ray.

So, count your blessings and don't drop any heavy rocks on your fingers!!!!

The 750-Piece Tantrum

"No puzzle! NO PUZZLE!!! NO PUZZLE!!!!" Nathan emphatically told me on Saturday. I had started him on a 750 piece puzzle earlier that day that was more complicated than he was used to.

He has happily done 750 piece puzzles in the past, but this one was trying his patience. The problem is that once he starts a puzzle, he HAS to finish it. Not this one! He was done! He had worked on it for a couple of hours and it was lunchtime and he was done!

So, I made his lunch while he had his little temper tantrum all the time demanding that I give him his "Ipad" right then. (He gets it AFTER lunch.) Yes, I am a stubborn mom that has to stick to my guns or he will walk all over me. Nathan choked on his pieces of turkey 3 times because he was trying to eat too much too fast. All this because he was SO MAD at me for making him eat lunch BEFORE he got his electronics time. I patiently stood beside him and made him take smaller bites so he wouldn't choke to death. Sigh! Kiddos with autism are fun and unpredictable. You never know what will set them off.

I think I will go back to 500 piece puzzles for a while--just in case.

TFD's

TFD's (Tear-free days). I'd never heard this phrase until a lady in our congregation used it a few years ago. She had several teen-age daughters at the time--need I say more? Well, we have entered the pre-teen era with my beautiful daughter and I think we are going to start counting our TFD's too. It is times like these when I do find myself thankful that I have 3 boys and only one girl:).

My parents raised 5 daughters and one son...and I am sure they could count their TFD's on one hand each month. Bless my mother! She is a saint to raise that many girls!!!! Kudos to all you folks out there that deal with pre-teen/teen aged girls. May you have a TFD today!

My Big Kid on our Not-So-Stable Swingset

Nathan LOVES to swing! I think we might need a new swing-set...after hauling it with us for two moves and now that Nathan is so big, this one is getting a little wobbly.smile emoticon

Grandma's Gum

"Grandma, can I have a piece of gum?" My grandma used to carry Wrigley's gum in her purse and that is how all of her grandkids remember her...Doublemint, Spearmint, Big Red, & Juicy Fruit. Any time I get a piece of Wrigley's gum I find myself thinking about and missing my grandma.

To me, these little reminders are like love notes from heaven. What objects remind you of loved ones that have passed on?

Sticky Notes Save the Day (again)

Saved by the sticky notes!!!! Yesterday was a BIG change in Nathan's routine because I picked him up mid-day from his junior high and took him over to the high school to tour the Special Ed room and meet his new teacher for next year (See sticky note number 1.) Once he read the sticky note, he came along happily, patiently went on the tour, and ate lunch in the cafeteria. He even skipped down the ramp (because that is 16-year-old boys do on ramps, right?)

It is difficult for Nathan to process things we say verbally, so we often have to write him little notes (like these) so he understands what is happening and doesn't have a melt-down. Often kiddos with autism are visual learners and we have found that a simple note or memo on the calendar will help Nathan be okay with a change in the routine.

Going grocery shopping with Nathan also used to cause a major tantrum until we discovered that if Nathan had a checklist with him and checked it off as we shopped that he would go along happily. What a difference a few years makes in learning what makes your child tick! (See sticky notes #2 & #3.)

So, in case of emergency break out the sticky notes and pray that Nathan is in a good enough mood for a change in routine:).

Power of Music

Nathan was a little out of sorts yesterday evening and didn't want to be entertained by any of his usual toys. After a silent prayer to know what to do to distract him and help him be happy I had the thought to sit down at the piano and play some of his favorite kid songs. Immediately he started singing and skipping through the house belting out, "Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes," "Do as I'm Doing," and "Popcorn Popping" again and again and again. I was probably playing for 40 minutes:).

I'm thankful for the power good music has to cheer gloomy moods and bring a smile to your face! I'm also thankful God helped me think of something to help him feel happy.

In Search of Perfection

I have a perfectionist personality that my husband and kids have gradually been whittling away at for many years. You'd think Mother's Day to me would be a day of guilt like it is for many women, but instead I find joy in it. You see, a number of years ago I realized a great secret to being perfect--you can't do it by yourself.

The call in the Bible to "be perfect" always gnawed at me, and I used to look at that verse, measure myself, fall short, and get discouraged. But, when you pair that verse on being perfect with several other verses that invite us to "Come unto Christ," have "faith," "repent," "be baptized," "keep my commandments," and "endure," a whole new concept seems to come into focus. We can become "perfect in Christ." It is a process.

Each day we commit to follow Him, and yet we make mistakes, repent, and keep trying to keep the commandments day after day and year after year until one day we find that we are doing a little better and not making the same mistakes we used to make. We are becoming "perfect in Christ."

So, my gift to you today is a gift that I received several years ago--it is a knowledge that when I am yoked to the Savior I can give Him my guilt, my mistakes and all my failings and HE can make up the difference. Have a blessed and "becoming perfect in Christ" day!

Happy Mothers Day!

Why 17-year-old boys still need their moms. "Son, you cannot wear neon yellow socks to church." Yes, he did change to brown socks.

Happy Mother's Day! Sometimes we mother in little things like neon socks, reminders to pray, or eat breakfast...but little things make a difference.

Teaching Nathan to Tie His Shoes

One of Nathan's goals this year is to learn to tie his shoes. It has been slow going, so we paired with his teacher to make this video to help him learn to tie his shoes. Just call my husband, Justin Anderson, the "movie-maker."

https://www.facebook.com/normalformemom/videos/vb.902736609777817/971106082940869/?type=2&theater

The Trial of Motherhood

When my kids were little I was pooped on, peed on and even vomited on. Yes, a mother's work with little children is physically dirty and exhausting. I have found that parenting pre-teens and teens is emotionally exhausting. There are some day they come home from school and let loose and I feel like I have been emotionally barfed on. Sigh! I honestly think it is easier to clean up the physical stuff.

My hubby had a chat with the kiddos last night about being respectful and nice to mom (especially with Mother's Day around the corner). I had a few apologies yesterday evening. Good thing we teach repentance and forgiveness in our home...although it is a little hard to want to hug them back after you've been emotionally vomited on! (Sorry for all the potty words today).

Last night I just hugged my not-so-little Nathan and found myself SO thankful that although he is 16, he still acts like he is 3 and he doesn't talk back to me. That is one of the blessings of having a son with autism.

Being a mom is probably the HARDEST and most rewarding job out there. Some days, weeks, and years are super-hard, but there are also days that are little rays of sunshine to the soul--that encourage us to keep going. It will all be worth it in the end.

May the 4th

Happy "May the Forth (Force)" be with you day. Sigh! Yes, I am a little nerdy! This is my shirt for today:)

End of the School Year Insanity

May 1st...the end of the school year insanity has already begun. I don't know why it is that the month before school gets out is so busy. It feels like December, only it is almost summer.

I feel like I have to check my calendar several times a day to make sure I am not forgetting anything and then schedule with my husband and eldest son (other drivers in the family) to make sure we can get everyone to everything without interrupting Nathan's schedule too much! Kids with autism like their schedule to stay the same...so all this craziness drives me and him crazy!

To all you fellow mothers out there managing end-of-the-year crazy schedules, hang in there! Summer is just around the corner. You can make it! :)